During the Writers in the Grove Monday workshop working on objective haiku, one of our members came up with the following haiku, beautiful but too wordy, which led to an amazing lesson in editing and the many variations that maybe found when multiple creative people tackle the same subject.
We’ve decided to share our member’s original work, which she has since edited, as an additional prompt this week to inspire you to work from her original concept and see where it takes you. If you would like to share your version, please share it in the comments below.
Pebbles clatter harshly
Noise provokes my attention toward the outer door
Unnerved to discover what is behind
The goal of the prompt is to edit the above to three lines with the least amount of words to convey the powerful emotion and imagery. How few words can you use? You are welcome to change the words but attempt to keep the intent of the original.